/Photo = MBC ‘Oh Eun-young Report – Marriage Hell’ broadcast screen
Dr. Oh Eun-young, a psychiatrist, first pointed out communication problems when seeing the ‘Muse couple’ having a conflict over money.
On the MBC entertainment program ‘Oh Eun-young Report – Marriage Hell’, which aired on the 20th, Taiwanese husband Chen Wei-chi (37) and Jang Ju-yeon (47), who have been married for 8 years, appeared on the show. They said they decided to get married because they loved the sound of their husband’s piano. Her husband majored in piano accompaniment, and her wife majored in flute. They were a musician couple.
My husband was at a famous music school called the National Conservatory of Music in Paris. Her husband was a classmate of musician Debussy and pianist Cho Seong-jin, and was a talented musician who graduated at the top of his school.
My husband said that he could have succeeded as a pianist if he had stayed in France, but now he has to sell online lecture videos of his music school friends who have become professors to make money. The husband confessed, “In fact, everything I’m doing now is something I don’t want to do. I’m just doing it because I need money.”
However, the wife confessed, “I think my husband is above him musically,” but “he was not successful in society. When it comes to making economic decisions, my husband doesn’t get involved and doesn’t say anything at all.”
The wife complained of financial difficulties, saying, “I have only received my salary 3 to 4 times. There was almost no income (during my marriage),” and “The only money I received accurately was from June. There was no money that I could calculate or predict.” did.
/Photo = MBC ‘Oh Eun-young Report – Marriage Hell’ broadcast screen
The wife tried to talk to her husband about the household finances, but the husband did not actively participate in the conversation. Her husband even sent her 1.1 million won more than her monthly salary of 4.5 million won.
Regarding this, the husband said, “(Taiwan bank account) daily transfer limit was 2.8 million won. So, every time the transfer limit was lifted, I sent 2.8 million won,” and the reason for sending more money than his salary was, “Because my wife likes me if I send more. I give money to my wife.” “Because they gave me too little, I kept (transferring) as much as I could so I could live, and it continues to be in the negative,” he explained.
The wife asked if he had sent 1.1 million won more than his monthly salary, but the husband did not give a proper answer and responded by asking, “Do you feel bad if I send you a lot of money?” Her wife was frustrated, saying, “I don’t know what she plans to do. She did it twice.”
The conversation didn’t go well, and the husband argued, “Then you shouldn’t whine,” and the wife countered, “How many times do I tell you that because you don’t talk?” But her husband “kept getting angry at me and asking, ‘Why don’t you send me money?’ ‘Why aren’t you making money?’ “You whine, ‘Why do I have no money?’” he said, adding, “You get really upset when you don’t have money in your account.”
The wife was angry and said, “Who heard that from you and why do you keep saying that to me?” and “Don’t do that. It makes me feel bad.”
/Photo = MBC ‘Oh Eun-young Report – Marriage Hell’ broadcast screen
The two also had a conflict over the 80 million won that the wife’s mother lent her as an apartment mortgage loan. Her husband sighed in despair, saying, “It may be several decades, but I have to keep repaying 600,000 won (loan interest) at a time.”
The wife said that she tried to start a lodging business by building a house with money borrowed from her mother, but “I couldn’t do it because I didn’t have enough money, so I ended up using it for living expenses.”
The wife shocked her husband by saying that out of the 80 million won she borrowed from her mother, she spent 10 million won on a trip to Australia, 15 million won on car payments, 10 million won on a fence, and 20 million won on laying a foundation to build a house.
The wife said to her bewildered husband, “It ended up being like this, but it wasn’t the money I spent to do that from the beginning. Isn’t that what you were trying to do? To make money here?” She said, “Then you can take out a loan and get some money. If I just say one word, you’ll talk more.” “There are so many. I’m so unlucky, I’m going to die,” he said.
In the end, the husband got frustrated and said, “I’m talking about it because I have to pay it back. Why don’t you talk about it when you spend it?” The wife said, “You’re like XXX!” and swore, “XXX. What did you do for me?” and ended up sobbing. did.
In an interview with the production team, the husband said, “My mother said she lent it to me, but I don’t know the details. Shouldn’t I get 80 million won, spend it all, and eventually have to pay it back? My wife doesn’t seem to have much consideration for my position.”
The husband was concerned about spending more than his income, saying, “I wish we could live within the money we have. The problem is how to repay it.”
The husband, who chose to go to Korea with his wife due to her father’s health issues, said that he had worked as a watermelon farmer in Bonghwa, Gyeongsangbuk-do, and that he was willing to take on any difficult work to make money.
/Photo = MBC ‘Oh Eun-young Report – Marriage Hell’ broadcast screen
Dr. Oh Eun-young said, “What a husband wants to say to his wife is, ‘I don’t waste any money I give you. I can do anything to make a living. But let’s spend the money we earn.’ And, ‘I can’t afford money.'” When you say, ‘I don’t think I can make good money,’ my wife says, ‘What should I do if I can’t make money?’ What I mean by ‘I can’t make money’ is, ‘I don’t want to make money.’ “No,” he said, pointing out the couple’s conversation.
He continued, “When the wife says, ‘You don’t have to earn money,’ the husband doesn’t say, ‘I’m sorry I can’t earn money,’ but when he says, ‘You always tell me to earn money,’ the wife says, ‘Am I the kind of woman who makes trouble?’ “When I say this, ‘I have to live with my kids,’ I feel like I’m going to fight until I open my eyes and go to sleep,” he analyzed.
In addition, Dr. Oh Eun-young diagnosed, “For these two, communication problems are more serious than money problems,” and “Severe communication problems are to the point where it can be a fatal blow to the couple’s relationship.”
He then pointed out, “We don’t communicate when we need to communicate, and we start off with good intentions and want to be nice to the other person, but we can’t communicate at all. If we communicate beyond what cannot be communicated, we are having a conversation that causes misunderstandings.”
Dr. Oh Eun-young asked her husband, “Do you know what it means to be sarcastic and sarcastic?” and added, “I think you need to change your tone a little. It’s admitting that ‘I’m a bit like that.’ If you say, ‘I’m a bit like that, I’m sorry.’ “It will happen,” he advised.
He continued, “There is an expression in the West called ‘Why don’t you’. ‘Why don’t you do this?’ It seems that people use this expression. ‘Why don’t you leave in 50 minutes?’ ‘There is a sense of difference with Korean expressions. They say, ‘Can’t you do it this way?’, but if you say ‘Why don’t you do it this way?’, it seems to mean the same thing, but it is different when you accept it.”
He said, “When talking in a close relationship, you must approach the other person in a way that does not hurt the other person’s feelings. The same goes for your wife. She does not sympathize with your husband. Although she dislikes overgeneralizing and criticizing certain parts, when talking to her husband, “He used that method. I think we need to change this,” he advised.
[저작권자 @머니투데이, 무단전재 및 재배포 금지]
Tags: Wife million won loan XXX anger husband points paying money
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